NOTEBOOK

September 12, 2017
Stubborn or Obliging

My solo show, Re|Visions, will be installed soon and opens on October 14th, which means I’m currently in the final stretch with this particular body of work. I’m thinking more and more about writing again, how I’m ready to get back to it, to that process, how “sometimes I can’t write fast enough – those rare moments when a ‘gift poem’ seems to materialize fully formed out of thin air. Other days it’s worse than pulling teeth – like you’re yanking on the spleen too and getting nowhere. The stubborn poems piss me off, yet I’m oddly suspicious of the obliging ones…” (read the whole interview here.) It’s three and a half years since I began work for Re|Visions, and even though I also published a book and edited another during that time, and new poems crop up, the past few months have been focused on the fusion of image with text. It’s almost time to return to wrestling solely with words, be they stubborn or obliging.

June 19, 2017
The Eyes Have It

This Being won the 2017 Gerald Lampert Memorial Award, presented by the League of Canadian Poets! Aye. The jury, quoting from the book itself, said the “poems read as sonic and ‘sombre supplicant to the whims / of living, age, genetics, and weather’ fashioned into a ‘stronghold of I.’” Can’t begin to express how heartening that is to hear. I’m honoured. I’m also now a member of the League. … The ms for David Helwig: Essays on His Works, with essays from ten fab contributors (more on that later), is complete and gone to the publisher. Watch for it from Guernica Editions in 2018. … Currently on deck: new interviews, essays, poems, workshops; a few upcoming readings; and art-making continues for the fall show, now titled Re|Visions and recently full of eyes. While I spy light at the tunnel’s end for that body of work, new ideas still bob to the surface. Will I ever be finished?

March 17, 2017
Cycles

If you’re a maker, you have to trust in the creative process’s cycle of wild peddling and pause, production and apparent inactivity. After a project reaches completion (the release of a book, for example), there’s a moment when the idea of resting appeals to you… except you can’t help but worry that if you stop now, you’ll lose steam and never make anything again. Thankfully I only paused to get some exercise, meet up with friends, check on seasonal progress, give a brief talk or two about what I do, before heading back into the studio to actually do it. Nearly three years on, I’m still working toward this Fall’s solo exhibition, which opens October 14. Thing is, I also have a manuscript due May 1. There is much to finish. So, no rest yet for this maker. Only the peddling…

November 1, 2016
Connective Tissue
Soldier's Tower archway, University of Toronto (photo: Ingrid Ruthig)The days shorten, grow darker. The sun retreats from the northern hemisphere. But this afternoon, summer seemed to be clinging to autumn’s coattails. The sun warmed the air, the bricks of the house, me, as I yanked out plants that won’t last the winter, tugging on stubborn, intertwined roots that had, in a few months, grown deep into the soil. There might still be a poem attached to one of those long filaments… A quote from the late American poet James Dickey says all that needs to be said today: “The sun is new every day, the ancient philosopher Heraclitus said. The sun of poetry is new every day, too, because it is seen in different ways by different people who have lived under it, lived with it, responded to it. Their lives are different from yours, but by means of the special spell that poetry brings to the fact of the sun — everybody’s sun; yours, too — you can come into possession of many suns: as many as men and women have ever been able to imagine. Poetry makes possible the deepest kind of personal possession of the world.”

August 10, 2016
Predictable?
Summer in southern Ontario used to be predictable both for its weather and R&R. Lots of holiday lazing about during hot, humid days, followed by thunderstormy nights. This year, while the swelter has been in glorious attendance, the usual rainfall is absent. The garden’s feeling it, and so are we. Climate change, they say. After the new book’s spring release and the buzz of readings, interviews, and appearances that followed, I counted on summer to offer its usual reprieve. I should’ve known better — the only thing predictable is that a writer|artist is never not working. So, even though part of me has to be outside feeling the sun and heat, and the grass between the toes, the other part is content to stay inside with the next piece of writing or art (the latter for a Sept 1 deadline). Predictably, I’m juggling. Because I don’t want to miss any of it.

April 5, 2016
Long Time Coming
Layout 1THIS BEING, my new book of poems, is now available. Recently I was interviewed about being a writer, and the first question was How did your first book change your life? Since the entire interview is forthcoming, I’ll simply post a snippet of my response here: “A first book … marks you as a paid-up member of the tribe. Even though I’ve been part of the lit community for a long while … I skirted around my ‘first’ book by producing so many others: 17 issues of the literary journal I co-edited & co-published …; anthologies; a chapbook; a poem-sequence-artist’s-book; a volume of critical essays … and a volume of poems [both about the work of other poets, which I edited, selected, contributed to]. So, in a way, my first book doesn’t quite feel like a first. While I’m glad now that it didn’t leave home sooner, the pressure to get it out there has finally eased…”   Yes. That last bit especially. Never a truer statement was made. [Read the whole interview.]

January 4, 2016
A Beginning in an End
Another turn of the page, on the calendar as well as metaphorically. T.S. Eliot’s poem “Little Gidding” springs again to mind: “For last year’s words belong to last year’s language / And next year’s words await another voice. …And to make an end is to make a beginning.” And yet, isn’t it all continuation of a sort? Words linger. We linger over them. Put them aside. Revisit and reshape them. I’m sure I’m repeating these very words, though perhaps in a slightly different order. My new book of poems comes out this spring. I hope its words will be cause for page-turning, recall, revisiting, repetition. That would be a very good beginning in the end of one project, I think.

August 25, 2015
Doing the Work
One Work Station, fall 2014 Eight months come and gone in a flash since my last note. I’ve had my head down, working. Working on the book of poems that will be published next spring, working on an extensive series of visuals that will be exhibited in 2017, working on adjusting to changes that come of children becoming adults and starting to lead their own lives. Doing the work makes me a better writer, a better artist, a better parent too, maybe. If nothing else, doing the work keeps me sane amid the chaos.

January 12, 2015
Location, Location
Happy New Year! Lots on the go at the moment, so just a short scribble… If you’ve ever wondered whether location affects inspiration and output, I wrote about it last month, for Open Book Toronto. “Some writers find their process inextricably linked to a particular physical place… My own writing process isn’t anchored to one location. At times, I’ve exited the day-to-day via cabins, hotels and country inns. Occasionally a café or library plays sanctuary. Words have ambushed me on trains, in rowboats and waiting rooms, in the quiet that a long road trip often evokes, or at night, when any scrap of paper from the bedside drawer will do…” Read the entire archived text of my “At the Desk” feature.

December 5, 2014
Getting Out
Writers in My Residence salon - Nov 27 2014A writer has to get out of the house once in a while, no matter how dedicated to the work, no matter how introverted. This past week, I did just that. And drove to a friend’s house. She’s a writer too, so understands the need to get out and to get the word out about words. She and her husband hosted the first “Writers in My Residence” literary salon in their living room. They welcomed everyone with food, beverages, seats enough for all. I and fellow poet|writer|editor Stuart Ross read from our respective books — my latest is The Essential Anne Wilkinson, poems. The room buzzed with energy, and later, with discussion, questions, laughter, even excitement. We shared a love of words, books, ideas, art. Sure, I was working, and it takes energy to gear up for a gig, then stand in front of a group of people and perform. It’s energy that you’re always aware could be put into creating, instead. Yet, it’s worth it. So much so, I read again yesterday evening in another town and had fun! I think everyone else did, too. And that counts for a lot. That and the fact that I got out of the house. Twice.

October 6, 2014
Versaille window
Somewhere
The “somewhere” I mentioned in April looms closer… several, in fact — with a book coming out in November, another two books in progress, and an extensive textwork series taking shape, based on the prototype “Antoinette’s Head” and “Heads of Fate” series, which was shown at Oshawa Space Invaders urban art festival in September. Still, I can’t give away too much just yet. It’s not that I’m secretive or even superstitious — to be honest, I’d much rather spill the beans. But most writers and artists err on the side of caution, knowing it’s best not to vent too much steam in the excitement of discovery, because we need it to drive the engine forward. So, for now, even for me, patience rules. I’ll let you know when we’ve arrived at that somewhere. [Update: I arrived. Check out my latest works.]

April 5, 2014
Doorways

Doorway of the English Reformed Church in Begijnhof, Amsterdam (a favourite of Van Gogh's) As a “plane of passage / contained by a frame / hinged to the changing / gate of its door” (from “Doorway”, a poem in the collection THIS BEING), they represent possibility, opportunity, discovery. I recently stepped through a few new ones (or revisited familiar ones), which were disguised as other things . . . 

Courses: Affectionately known as “ModPo”, a massive open online course (or MOOC), “Modern & Contemporary American Poetry” is 10 weeks of collaborative close-reading and discussion with global classmates, offered annually through the University of Pennsylvania, using the Coursera platform. In fall 2014 I return as a Community TA. I also completed the “Artist-Educator Foundations Course” facilitated by Toronto’s Royal Conservatory of Music, with the support of the Ontario Arts Council.
Books: A Humument by Tom Phillips | Uncreative Writing by Kenneth Goldsmith | How to Suppress Women’s Writing by Joanna Russ | Ark Codex (Calamari Press) | Heresies by Anne Wilkinson | A Journey with Two Maps by Eavan Boland | The World of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction by Walter Benjamin.
Visual Art: the works of creative women who came before, including Elisabeth Vigée-LeBrun, Margaret MacDonald Mackintosh, Artemisia Gentileschi, Dora Carrington, Judith Leyster, and many others.

All this is leading somewhere. Stay tuned. [Update: It’s led to a solo show, slated for October 14 – December 10 at Station Gallery in Whitby, ON. Visit the “Artwork” page for details.]

January 1, 2014
Here

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted Here, and now it’s a whole new year. Full of activity though 2013 was, it did include pauses to take stock of where I’ve been creatively and where I’m heading. One such moment came about when Open Book Ontario solicited an essay regarding my experience as a writer in Durham Region. In looking back, I realized how far I’ve travelled and how much has changed Here. It also confirmed the importance of Here and Now. The text of my essay “Here Be Writers” is archived online here. Here’s to being Here!

June 11, 2013
Driving Away
Today it was announced that a controversial, much-delayed, and much-opposed international airport will be built a
fter all in this region. It will consume a third of the already expropriated 18,000+ acres of local agricultural land. And this comes hard on the heels of the current in-progress highway expansion, which is devouring thousands more acres of farmland here. In light of this, I feel the need to reference “Driving Away”, a piece I wrote for CBC CanadaWrites’ “HyperLocal” series:

“When I first came to live in this town east of Toronto, one thing struck me as familiar; people said hello to each other on the street. In stores they stopped to share family news. My husband and I, our roots still elsewhere, felt anonymous. Warm evenings we’d ride our motorcycle on country roads only minutes away. Across fields and ditches fireflies signaled their Morse code of tiny binary lights. The air smelled of damp loam, growing things, and I could recognize cornfields by their sweet scent . . . .” 

March 1, 2013
Only the Words
“Picture a thing for which you have only its name – no image, in fact or memory; only the word. Picture Photuris pennsylvanica. Language shapes us. It anchors us in a visual world, extends us. Words guide with associations, lead with meaning. We, perhaps, forget how much…” Read the online archived text of my piece about language and “The Etymologist’s Legacy” textwork. 

February 1, 2013
The Invitation
The Invitation rockerAs a writer, I’m interested in where people tell stories and read books. As an artist, I study the role of text in the reworking and retelling of our stories and histories. A quote from the American novelist F. Scott Fitzgerald set the tone for this particular project: “Draw your chair up close to the edge of the precipice and I’ll tell you a story.” And finding this chair was another stroke of luck. With its 18th-century North American origins and long association with storytelling by the fire, the rocker is the perfect vehicle for exploring these ideas. . . . Text—even that presented on computers, tablets, and e-readers—usually comes to us as black letters on a white or near-white page. Yet most of us still recall blackboards at school, where we learned to read and write and put words together. Here, the chair is now the slate bearing a mysterious, chalk-white, hand-lettered invitation to become the listener or reader of the story. Through the spindles along the back, I wove the opening sentences of twenty classic books. They represent the world of literature that words open up for us. The chair’s lovely, historic bones are now accentuated, and the whole has a more contemporary feel. With a new book included, there’s no better place to begin a story . . . than at the beginning. [“The Invitation” was auctioned at the Durham Community Foundation’s Odyssey Ball and Chair Affair in February 2013.]

January 11, 2013
Motivational Machinery
Eleven days into the new year and two projects are checked ‘completed’ on my 2013 project list: Durham Community Foundation’s Odyssey Ball ‘Chair Affair’ contribution, “The Invitation” rocker. And “BinaReCodings: ‘In the beginning was the word'”, a bookwork for Art House Co-op’s Sketchbook Project 2013, to be housed in the Brooklyn Art Library. Deadlines often make me sweat, but they also grease the motivational machinery and keep me on the road to creating new work. And so far, so good.

December 21, 2012
Solstice Lights
It’s a dim, brief day in the Northern Hemisphere. But glimmers of light appear everywhere amid the long shadows. They’re strung on houses and through festive greenery on the mantel. They’re found in gatherings with friends, in laughter with family, in projects that await your attention, in small mercies. . . . So, it’s been a fulfilling year, and without a doubt, 2013 will be just as interesting. Happy holidays and good wishes to all!

October 23, 2012
Artist Statements
Recently I’ve had to write a few. And while I prefer to let the audience come to a work unimpeded, without too much lead-in, an artist statement, much like the title of a poem, novel, or piece of art, provides an entry point. Here are a couple of mine:

dBooked (detail) by Ingrid Ruthig

dBooked” is my response to the apparent decline of the book as object, as the container and conveyor of a narrative, and examines it as an artifact in our digital, eBook world. Going against my instinct to take care of and preserve any book, I pulled this one apart. I removed its three dimensions and most of its pages, then cut away the story word by word, leaving only a few clues as to its previous state. What remains is skeletal, even historic: sections of the dust jacket, cover, and end papers; library markings that confirm its previous life of use; near-empty pages; conjunctions and a sequence of chapter headings. Descriptive text and paratext are absent, though their original locations are visible. As the words drain away, the vivid, colourful picture they painted evaporates, the story disappears. We become archaeologists… What was the story? Who told it? When? Where? And with whom did it once connect?

The Etymologist’s Legacy“, as idea, arrived virtually unannounced. I woke with the words “entomologist” (a zoologist who studies insects) and “etymologist” (a specialist in the origins of words) doing a tango in my head. Almost immediately I sidelined all other projects to begin this one. Its shape came quickly: a shadowbox collection of insects, though not the usual kind which displays the insect’s physical remains. Rather, this collection would consist of the words that represent their scientific classifications, their ‘official’ names. For each name, I selected a typeface|font, as well as a paper colour and texture, that together would suggest the physical nature of the insect… If the insects themselves are gone (and with them their beauty), if all we have left are the words (their names), what story will we tell? what picture will we paint? what will we truly know, then?

September 8, 2012
The Catch
Bye-bye, Summer. Still, I landed a few keepers. Now it’s all gutting, scaling, beheading, filleting, seasoning, and sizzling. I’ll soon serve up the results.

June 16, 2012
Gone Fishing
Not really. But I’m just as gone. For the summer. Hung the sign on the door. Fishing for ideas, for silence, for time to make new things, write new words. Back later.

April 16, 2012
Preoccupation
The word pretty much sums up the state of the creative mind. Influences revisit. Images recur. Ideas refuse to go away. Right now, preoccupation reigns supreme. A few months ago, the curator of Whitby’s Station Gallery invited me to be part of a group show this fall, called “Reading the Image”. All five participating artists work in image and text. It’s a fabulous opportunity, and there’s nothing like a deadline to make you produce new work. So, while I continue to plug away at new poems, book reviews, and ideas for another artist’s book, I’m also searching out images, recalling influences, scribbling and sketching ideas, trying to figure out how they’ll get channeled into new artwork for this show.

December 28, 2011
Reckoning
It’s nearly impossible to come to the end of another year and not wonder, Where did the time go? A self-employed, self-regulated writer also tends to ask, What have I accomplished? And that’s when the reckoning begins–the review and tally of the year’s productivity. By my accounts, the past twelve months have been reasonably good ones. I continued to do what I want and need: I read, wrote, noted, edited, created, recreated, retreated, reviewed, published, spoke, hosted, exhibited, travelled, observed, listened, wondered at, simmered ideas, interviewed and was interviewed, taught and was taught, launched two books, completed my stint at one volunteer post, then accepted another, and all the while connected with colleagues, celebrated with friends, and received responses from readers who confirmed that I wasn’t toiling in solitude for nothing. So yes, I reckon it was a good year. I also reckon that the satisfaction will linger only a moment more. In fact, I’m ready to close 2011’s ledger and start a fresh one. Happy New Year! 

September 15, 2011
Harvest

Autumn, already. Perhaps my age is the reason, or the nature of my calendar, but the seasons seem to cycle more quickly now. I grew up in a small town in the midst of farm country, and fall remains my favourite time of year. Transitional. Bittersweet. Harvest time. These days, completed projects are my crops, all of them different. The seeds of one may seem barely sown when, magically, they’re ready to reap, while others reach fruition after a lengthy maturation. This fall I’m launching two books–Richard Outram: Essays on His Works (Guernica Editions) and Slipstream (ARKITEXWERKS & Soper Creek Chapbook Studio) (shown here). The former has been a long time coming. The latter–even though its text was written in 2007 and its shape has morphed a few times–was completed in a whirlwind of effort, in two editions, over the summer. I’m pleased with each book, for different reasons. I hope they will be well received. Mostly I feel a sense of accomplishment. And yet . . . the time of year makes us pause. It’s hard to say goodbye to summer, knowing winter’s inevitable. The next few weeks will no doubt be spent glancing back (with a small twinge) at what’s done, while at the same time we prepare for what’s ahead.

April 28, 2011
Travel Notes
My feet on Point Zéro, Place du Parvis, ParisAh, the circularity of journeys. Last month’s: Amsterdam, Bruges, Paris, London. With my eldest daughter. For me, in part, a return. For her, new-yet-familar wonders. For us both, a shared grand adventure. Before she sets off for university and another kind of adventure begins. . . . The creative well is also full again. Ah, sensory input. It’s percolating away in my head. Soon, some of it will make a return trip. To the surface. Renewed. And take shape in fresh work. But for now, just mulling it all. Round and round. Securing memories, mental images, details. I’ll return to Paris. So it’s said, when you stand on the stone-ringed, shiny “Point Zéro” in Place du Parvis. As I did. Oh yes, we meet ourselves coming back… Bien sûr!

January 10, 2011
Next Stretch of River
A new decade arrives. But I never make New Year’s resolutions. Rather than spout lofty public proclamations, it seems wiser to privately reaffirm, each day, those things one hopes to change or achieve or improve upon…while being mindful of the fact that a hundred years from now no one will remember or care who did what… unless, of course, he or she develops a cure for all disease, or discovers we’re actually bugs or something. Yup, for this gal in 2011, it’s one paddle, one canoe, and this still-so-surprising river to keep navigating.

October 20, 2010
What Do You Do?

I used to answer “architect”, which I soon learned might elicit an eager itemization of home renovation wants and desires. Whoa, that’s not my part of the Building Code! Now I hesitate for a different reason. Saying I’m a “writer” or “artist” isn’t like saying “algebra teacher” and knowing all further interrogation is blessedly dead in the water. Instead it’s often followed by “oh?” (“why?”) or “what kind?” The former bristles my inner Mary Poppins, who never explains. And the latter isn’t easy to answer; I’m a jack of all trades, and like most writers and artists, what I make is drawn from the stone soup of all I’ve ever absorbed and experienced. Today was a day of synchronicity. I read the following and refreshed my own sense of . . . 

. . . poetry 
“Frequently I am confronted by people who say they do not understand, the *meaning* of a poem. Even when poetry has a meaning, as it usually has, it may be inadvisable to draw it out. ‘Poetry,’ said Coleridge, ‘gives most pleasure when only generally and not perfectly understood. Perfect understanding will sometimes almost extinguish pleasure.’ Meaning is of the intellect; poetry is more physical. Most of us have read a poem that has made the hair on the back of our necks stand up: we may have asked ourselves, ‘Why have mere words had such a physical effect?’ The answer, wrote Housman, ‘is because these words are poetry, and find their way to something in us which is obscure and latent, something older than the present organization of our nature.'” — Susan Musgrave

. . . architects
“Architects are renaissance persons. They are experts in none of the many intricate and detailed aspects of creating the built environment for humankind. Their expertise is in choosing, coordinating, and integrating the means to create a physical environment which satisfies the complex needs of the material and spiritual life of human beings. It is a role not much recognized in a highly materialistic world full of experts who know more and more about less and less until they know everything about nothing.” — Stig Harvor, in Ontario Association of Architects’ journal Perspectives

. . . art
“Tolstoy wrote in his diary:’…our entire life, if spent unconsciously, is as if it had never been’…We live as if covered with rubber. We need to restore the world for ourselves…To this end, in order to make an object into a fact of broad art, it has to be extracted from the quantity of facts of life…Art takes everything as its material.” — Viktor Shklovsky in Literature and Cinematography

Fashioning an answer to “what do you do?” isn’t as important as striving to just DO it.

September 24, 2010
Swimming
Not literally. Figuratively. Sort of. What I mean: I think of all those days that a writer struggles against the literal current of time, doubt, frustration, discouragement, distraction, and all that other useless flotsam that impedes progress. Thing is, there is no real choice but to keep swimming. Quitting isn’t an option; you’re wa-a-ay out in the middle of this ocean now, committed to the distance. Going under isn’t an option either, because, face it, you LIKE swimming. You like the feeling of being immersed in language, thought, images. You like how sometimes you get swept along and hours wash over you unnoticed. You like the solitude of the task at hand. Mostly… Occasionally you rediscover you’re not alone at all. Familiar faces drift alongside, as did those of writer friends the other night. We exchange news, stories, suggestions, grumbles, commiseration, and firm “keep going”s, understanding the challenges ahead despite the miles already put behind us, and laugh at all the ups and downs shared in this stubborn ocean… We parted again, slow to relinquish the short-lived camaraderie, yet more prepared for the next head-down stretch. The swimming will be somehow easier, for awhile, anyway. I hope the current will then see fit to bring us together again. Until that time, we go our own way, each of us reaching out to pull in another handful of elusive.

September 16, 2010
Slipstream
SLIPSTREAM The project is done. Well, nearly. After months (nay, years) spent on the writing of the poem sequence, the reflecting, revisiting, pausing, rethinking, revising (it was originally commissioned for a chapbook), then the sketching, false starts and abandoned efforts to take it into the visual, the RE-revisiting, the mocking-up on the computer, the trial and error and retrial with materials and assembly, the procrastination, the summer spent sweating over not being able to work on it, the DIY printer repair (all those pieces spread in order of disassembly around my kitchen), the rather bad results with methyl cellulose experimentation, the treks to haul home 20 heavy glass clip-frames, a whole lotta watercolour paper and some train schedules, and finally, three solid weeks of nose-to-the-flippin’-grindstone, it’s done (if you don’t count photographing it all, writing the artist statement, designing the booklet, etc.) . . . There’s no weekend for writers and artists. No vacation. No break. Not really. The creative wheels turn as constant as the Earth. However, once the show is hung, I think I’ll indulge in a nap… or something.

June 4, 2010
What Makes Poetry?
Montreal poet Robyn Sarah writes:
“I [look] for poetry that is poetry before it is anything else—whatever its subject matter, style or form. I like poems that have lasting resonance, that invite re-reading and reading aloud, that balance sound with sense, and that go beyond mere personal biography or the topicalities of the day to evoke universal human questions and emotions. I look for honesty in poetry. I look for language that is original, surprising, playful, yet also disciplined. I look for poems that rise above their own surface ‘aboutness’ to a higher plane, whether of metaphor, myth, or sheer melody—poems that deliver truth beautifully and beauty truthfully. In short, the values I look for in contemporary poetry are the same ones that have allowed great poems to survive centuries and to transcend languages and cultures.”

December 15, 2009
Good Cheer
Every writer’s engine needs the occasional refuel. And pit stops are few and far between. So, when a new reader responded to some poems (featured in Gloom Cupboard) with “cryptic, thought-provoking, startling and…puzzling; wonderfully dark and beautifully written”, I was good for another 10,000 miles. Happy Holidays, wherever you are!

November, 2009
The Tilt

Except in the case of reviewing, where close reading to provide a critique is the task at hand, there’s no good reason to waste time on writing that doesn’t earn and maintain your attention. My rule of thumb has become this – if it doesn’t tilt your perspective, if its language doesn’t re-calibrate your ear, if it doesn’t contain soul enough to replenish your own, then demand better. Reach for the next book.

 

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